T-Shirt — ‘I Want Only Two’

He had been married since 2012 and came back to dating in 2026 to find a landscape that had been extensively redecorated while he was gone. He downloaded his first dating app, created a profile, and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to understand when the world had gone crazy. He found the gender section and spent longer on it than he had on the divorce papers. He swiped left on llamas identifying as golden retrievers, cats, and other animals.

His dating life shifted the day he replaced his bio with: there are only 2 genders. For months the likes arrived from the wrong direction and he declined every one without a second look. The bio did its job: filtered everything out. The weird creatures disappeared. Only likes from llamas that were “normal” to him remained. The t-shirt for anyone who has ever wondered who taught Biology in recent years. Two weeks later he had a date. The bio said female. He considered that a victory.

We print this piece of history on premium combed ring-spun cotton at a lightweight 4.2 oz/yd2. Retail fit with a crew neckline and side seams for shape. As a result, it wears as confidently as someone who replaced a thousand words with five. Available in Navy and Red, sizes S through 2XL. Machine wash cold. Tumble dry low. Above all, this llama moved on. The ex-wife profile came up. She was now a dolphin.

Every La Llama design is original artwork created by real artists. You won’t find this anywhere else because it doesn’t exist anywhere else. La Llama Politically Incorrect Club is the anti cancel culture lifestyle brand for people who think free speech and a good sense of humor are the same thing. If you get it, you’re one of us. If you don’t, the llama doesn’t care.